So…how much fun are you to live with? Are you always the grumpy parent because of bills, responsibilities, job, no job, stress, disobedient kids…? Or maybe your kids are the lucky ones who see you as someone with a sense of humor. Laughter goes a long way in life, in fact, it lengthens your years. Use it – you’ll go far(ther)!

How about using positive self-talk, so you can be congruent in your message? Here we go: 1) I can do this; 2) We can work this out; 3) We’ll get through this; 4) I will do the best I can and that will be enough; 5) I know I can handle this; 6) This can be easy; 7) I choose to stay calm; I love being a parent; 9) Boy, I’m pretty good at this; and 10) Piece of cake!

Your communication with your children needs to be congruent with who you are. What I mean by that is that if inside of you you think that this situation (or relationship) can never be worked/figured out, but your words are offering encouragement, hope and forgiveness…guess what? Whatever you say (no mater the words), they hear “This can never be worked/figured out!” It is those long and sensitive antennas that kids have…they hear EVERYTHING from the tone of your voice to your body language. Can’t fool them!!

You get what you give…Yes, when your children scream and yell and act out, even thrown things, where did they learn that? Reality check!!!

OK, do not restrict your communication with your children only to problem situations. It is extremely important that you talk about “nothing” with them – A LOT. This kind of talk about things that don’t matter, 1) matter to them, and 2) is excellent practice for the times when you do have things to say that matter. See it as a relationship builder…

When venturing into any communication, start softly. Why? Because 96% of conversations end the same way they started!

Hello, this is God. Today I am going to handle all of your problems. I don’t need your help. So, have a good day. I love you!

Today I notice things. I notice how little I have to go to the grocery store. I notice how warm it is today. I notice that the grass still grows, whether I have money or not. Today I practice noticing.

When you need to communicate something important (like your feelings, or a chore to do, or how absolutely necessary it is to do homework, or how you noticed the beautiful sunset), please, do not share this in a crisis mode. It always seems that this is when we do it, although we know that this piece of news goes in one ear and out the other because of the stressed out moment. Wait, breathe, count to ten, think – then speak!

When you communicate with anyone, use this gift to generate solutions rather than to relieve problems. Do you notice the distinction? One is about solutions, the other is about problems. The universe hears either and responds accordingly. I would go for the solutions…Wouldn’t you?