February 22nd, 2012
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.” – Erma Bombeck
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 21st, 2012
I have heard parents say that they don’t want to teach their children this or that (especially any religious beliefs/behaviors), because, they say, when they are grown, they will choose then, on their own. Believe me, the forces that shape your children’s beliefs/behaviors are already in play – big time. You as a parent, have not only the right to teach and shape those beliefs/behaviors, but the responsibility to do so. If you think your children will choose beliefs/behaviors when they are “old”, think again. That stuff is learned when they are young, from YOU!!! Besides, they will have fewer choices when they are old, if you don’t give them some (good ones) now…
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 17th, 2012
So now that you have a deal brokered out with your children, remember to keep your eye on the doughnut, not on the hole. There will be days that your plan will go to pot (sometimes literally!), your nerves will be raw, and your patience will wear thin. Chin up! This is called LIFE. Keep focusing on the final result (doughnut), not all the distractions (hole). Got it?
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 16th, 2012
First of all, let’s fix yesterday’s so it makes sense: Do unto others as they want done unto them…
Then for today: When you negotiate with your children – or anyone for that matter – be very specific about the agreement you make at the end. Have the other party state it as well as you, have it said aloud a couple of times, and then write it down. Kids especially are very clever at making us adults second-guess at what we really said…I remember scratching my head often and thinking “Did I really say that or…?”
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 14th, 2012
You all know about the “Golden Rule.” Today I learned about the “Platinum Rule”: Do unto others are they want done unto them. Isn’t that just fabulous?
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 11th, 2012
When you get to take up that difficult conversation with your child, please, talk about only the issue at hand. It is soooooo easy to drag the whole sack of history into it, but don’t do it! That will not only undermine the relationship you are trying to build, but also your credibility. Not worth it…
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 10th, 2012
Hey, when you are in dispute with your child about something, remember that you also have similarities. In fact, the areas of dispute are pretty isolated, whereas the areas of similarity are large and bounteous. Start by identifying what you can agree on, then move to the harder part, the negotiation.
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 9th, 2012
When you make family rules or chore charts, do you involve your children? Even though you have the last word as a parent, please, let your children also have a say on how or what they will do, of course, within the guidelines of the family. They will feel part of the process, have pride in and ownership of the plan and will be much more willing participants in it. That will be refreshing!
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 8th, 2012
I just had to write this from Dr. Phil “Consistency invites ownership – Your children have to be able to predict what you will do in order to feel that all important sense of power to create their own lives. If your child lives up to her/his part of the bargain, you’ve got to live up to yours.” Nicely put!
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
February 7th, 2012
This is something that your children need to know very clearly: When you choose an action/behavior, you choose the consequence. Thus it is important to have clear guidelines, rules and consequences for behaviors. And be rest assured, you need consequences for BOTH “positive” and “negative” behaviors. Otherwise, it would be called “punishment” – and I, for one, do not like punishment. Neither do your children. Do you?
Posted in Tips and Tricks | No Comments »
